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On a mailing list, Andrius Kulikauskas released these good thoughts into the public domain. Pass them on.I don't like to get distracted by world events, but they're now large
enough that I feel a duty to respond. I lived by choice for several years in a neighborhood of Chicago
oppressed by intimidating gangs and individuals. I knew that the police
could not make the world right. I would not excuse myself from
responding to wrong. So I trained myself to confront wrong. I took up the challenge to
respond, at least in some small way, to every wrong I saw, from a child
dropping a candy wrapper, to a gang pounding on a victim. I came across a mean and threatening person about once a week for four
years. Often I simply practiced, I would stop to engage youths staking
out street corners. I started out small, talking to one or two youths,
but built up to mobs lead by people who poke their finger in your chest,
or who watch a dog crush a cat to death in its jaws, or flash a knife at
you in anger, or simply threaten to rape and kill you. What I learned (along with my good friend Joe Damal) is completely
counter to everything I am ever told. So I share this with the firm
belief that this would work just as well with global conflicts. The only thing you really need to know is "Always look at everything
from their point of view". Then you can be hyperflexible, respond in
the ways that any good person would, and ready for the good to come from
any direction. And you will get hurt just a very little bit. A vile man may curse me, but how can he hurt if I engross myself in his
point of view, and forget myself? I curse along with him that one who
causes him so much anguish, grief, frustration, pain. A deranged addict can accost me, but thinks most clearly when I show
that I do truly wish that he satisfy his need, but even better his needs
everlasting, first of all his dignity. A sadist may seize me, as an object of his power, but turns refined and
fascinated if I accept him as the master of a game that we will play. But as soon as I focus on myself, my own image cursed, my own mind
invalidated, my own power lost, then my screams will bring vicious hands
upon my every weakness. "Always look at everything from their point of view". I may apply my
own mind, but only to their situation. We may disagree on everything,
but never the fact that I am one with them, completely devoted, not I
but he, not I but she. That's all that truly matters, but Joe and I found seven principles that
make it practical. The purpose is for their sake, to let them be in
control, let them exercise their free will. 1) "Be straightforward." Make yourself plain as day. Let them size you
up. Let them know who you are, where you live. Reveal your motives.
If you're going to call the police, do your best to let them know.
America should have no CIA, no Homeland Security, no Armed Forces unless
they can work publicly. Otherwise its opponents are forced to suspect
America. 2) "Be thorough." Don't skip steps. Don't call the police until you've
taken some response yourself, even if it just means peeking out the
window. When you're frightened, confront. You can retreat when you
have something to be sad about. So take small steps, so that your hurt
will be small. And when you do feel hurt, then go back quickly for
help, don't persist yourself. America should take every single step it
can, exercise every single option available, involve every possible
party. Never strike first. Let the sadist have a game to play. 3) "Be vulnerable." A gang can never take you seriously if you need the
force of the police, or a large group, to engage them. Go so that
they can hurt you, and they will know that you are for real. They will
know that they are truly responsible for everything they do to you.
America should be lead by those who are prepared to be assassinated, and
there should be many replacements. America should have at the head of
its armed forces a Peacemaker Corps of nonviolent volunteers who are
willing to risk death and injury as tripwires for its global concerns. 4) "Let them win." You can hang with a gang on a street corner, and
walk circles around their head, and plant seeds in their mind all day
long. But you can't get them to leave that corner when you want them
to. So let them win, have the last word, get their way. They will
leave that corner five minutes after they have seen you gone. America
should welcome anti-American governments in other countries. If those
governments have only that to stand on, they will collapse when they can
find nobody to fight, and make room for those with integrity. America
should deal with all who win power. 5) "Seek clarification when confused." Let them teach you. Hear them
out. Listen with an open heart, take their lies at face value for their
sake, play along to see where you may lead them. You will learn all of
their thinking, but even better, you may also change your own mind, and
find new truth. America should take Osama bin Laden at face value.
Isn't he mad that America's troops are in Saudi Arabia and Israel?
America's government should take up the questions, why are its troops
there? Why is Saudi Arabia a monarchy? Why is Israel an ally? The
best way to find Osama bin Laden is to ask for his opinion. The best
way to have a sound foreign policy is to keep it open to question. The
best way to have friends with integrity is to teach them to question
themselves. 6) "Stick to your principles." What would you lay down your life for?
What is it going to come down to, when they talk of killing you? What
is the road on which they may walk with you to the end? At that point,
if they're standing on that corner to sell drugs, let them be. But if
they're going to intimidate an old lady, so she can't even walk down the
street, then I'm ready for the end. I know my principles, so they can
know them, too. And they will give me way. America should know the
price of Chicago. What values are worth more than a weapon of mass
destruction can imperil? Is it freedom from fear? Is it knowing that
we don't strike the first blow? Or the second blow? Is it showing good
will? 7) "Have something to share." Add to their fun. If they've opened the
hydrant, go out in your trunks. Let them lift you up and get you wet.
Let them smile and laugh before you explain why it's against the law.
When they stand on the corner, let them know that neighbors may think
they are selling drugs, and may call the police. Do it as a favor.
America should have values, and share values, that make it worthy to be
the mightiest superpower, regardless of whether it is. America should
conduct itself as the country that responds, to the extent it can, to
absolutely every voice around the world. Every person in the world
should visit America and be free to live there. America should
encourage immigration so that if America is not the world, then at least
the world is within America. It is vitally important to encourage
immigration from countries in conflict with America, so that immigrants
can help shape American policy. These are all practical ways of "always looking at everything from their
point of view". They are wonderful to practice. We can start by being
just a little bit vulnerable, straightforward, thorough, conciliatory,
interested, principled, giving. America can start small. Deal with the
South Side of Chicago, where people do talk of civil war. Send unarmed
soldiers to practice nonviolent engagement. Practice on Cuba, Turkey,
Singapore. Work your way up to China. I know that America has a troubled past, notably slavery, the crushing
of natives, the invasion of Mexico, the regime making by the CIA. Yet
all these wrongs recede away from the everlasting principles to which
Americans commit their country to. Around the world, these principles
bring hope for the future, for Americans hold them true not only for
themselves, but also for others. But now I hear from the President that it is most important for America
to enforce its values around the world, which of course, means that it
is less important to worry what those values are. In other words,
others should worry about their values in a way that America need not.
This is the ugliness of the British Empire, or the Roman Empire, or any
empire, where insiders practice on themselves very different values than
they do on others. A bystander who cares must wonder, if America can allow itself such an
unremarkable President, receptive Congress, and acquiescent people, then
they must be quite out of touch with those values that make America
everlasting. If America succeeds here, then it will not be for having
risen to any challenge. America will simply confirm itself on a path
towards that violence that will ultimately dissolve it. Many burn for the 3,000 who perished, but few love God for the 47,000 he
saved, or write their names on monuments, even though they all know who
they are. Christ spoke of eighteen people killed when a building
collapsed: they are no different then you, but if you don't repent, you
will suffer the same fate! I suppose they are a sign to us, and if we
don't repent, we will be a sign to others. Samson brought down the
temple of the Philistines in his suicide. God ordered the genocides in
Canaan, and condemned Saul for falling short. Of course, he wiped out
the face of the earth in the flood, all save Noah's ark. These are the
everlasting values. Who understands them? Who can afford not to worry
about them? Always show good will. Give slack in every direction, ever just a bit.
Do what any good person would do, don't focus on what makes you
special, let that be. Love your neighbor as yourself. Christ says I
follow him to the extent that I love my enemy, for who does not love
friends? Look for enemies! Take up the other's point of view. Lose
yourself in it, then you are gone, and the Christ lives in you, ready to
respond in any direction. America is a keeper of everlasting values. But be alert, stay
awake! You may lose the torch as did the British, and the Romans, and
the Greeks. The values are eternal, God finds new keepers, even after
long dark ages. If America takes its values for granted, then it will
be dismissed. If America sticks to her principles, lays down her life
for them, then her name will forever adorn them, long after she is gone,
and all of us. Christ said: I lay down my life, and I pick it up again. I hereby share my wish for peace, and against war. I prefer an awful
death to striking the first blow. I don't worry about the grand politics, or much about America, for I
know that country which I keep in my heart. But I encourage us to
channel all of our nervous energy on the small practices that leap out
from friend to foe, and span our everlasting world. Thank you for inspiring my action! Andrius
5 comments so far. Add a comment.
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Comments:
COMMENT #1
Peter, Thank you so much for posting this! Here's a great response I got from my friend Steve Bonzak, also in the Public Domain: Hey Andrius- Wonderfully written letter. I have a few responses >[snip] So I trained myself to confront wrong. I took up the challenge to
>respond, at least in some small way, to every wrong I saw, from a child
>dropping a candy wrapper, to a gang pounding on a victim. I worked for six years in an alternative school on the southwest side
of Chicago (three as a teacher and three as an administrator). Most
of the kids that went to the school were forced or kicked out of
public school. A lot of them were gang-involved. Needless to say
one of our main concerns was safety for the students and staff. I
have had some of the same experience as you describe. As for the above, every single wrong at the school needed to be
addressed immediately - which sometimes meant for long days of work.
These acts needed to be addressed, not so much to control people, or
because it was the morally right thing to do, but because it was the
most efficient way to keep things stable and safe for everyone. The
other kids at school needed to see that someone cared. If teachers
neglected to address things when they first happened (often when
things were small), then it inevitably led to something much bigger
and scarier. >I came across a mean and threatening person about once a week for four
>years. Often I simply practiced, I would stop to engage youths staking
>out street corners. I started out small, talking to one or two youths,
>but built up to mobs lead by people who poke their finger in your chest,
>or who watch a dog crush a cat to death in its jaws, or flash a knife at
>you in anger, or simply threaten to rape and kill you. I can't say we witnessed that level of violence constantly at the
school. But what I did learn, was that given the horrendous things
these kids did outside of school, they often did them for reasons
that were not completely psychopathic (they had devastating problems
at home, needed desperately to belong, etc). In other words, if you
addressed them like human beings with problems that you can relate
to, and not killers or pyschos to be afraid of, they responded much
better. Many times problems were averted simply by asking what was
going on to make them act out in class, in the halls, etc. >The only thing you really need to know is "Always look at everything >from their point of view". Then you can be hyperflexible, respond in >the ways that any good person would, and ready for the good to come from
>any direction. And you will get hurt just a very little bit. This is without a doubt the very first thing that is necessary.
Again, the vast majority of people are not psychotic - even though
they may do things to really hurt you or someone else. They always
seemed to be acting out of something reasonable, and if you could put
yourself into their shoes you could understand them, which always
made them calm down. >[snip] But as soon as I focus on myself, my own image cursed, my own mind
>invalidated, my own power lost, then my screams will bring vicious hands
>upon my every weakness.
>
>"Always look at everything from their point of view". I may apply my
>own mind, but only to their situation. We may disagree on everything,
>but never the fact that I am one with them, completely devoted, not I
>but he, not I but she. In a classroom confrontation, or any other confrontation for that
matter, never focus on the fact that you are losing control. Focus
as much as possible on them and their concerns. Most of the time,
what the person acting out wanted was attention, but did not know how
to ask for it in a good way. It is far better to acknowledge what
s/he needs first, then if it is possible let him/her know what you
need, and try to work from there. >1) "Be straightforward." Make yourself plain as day. Let them size you
>up. Let them know who you are, where you live. Reveal your motives.
>If you're going to call the police, do your best to let them know.
>America should have no CIA, no Homeland Security, no Armed Forces unless
>they can work publicly. Otherwise its opponents are forced to suspect
>America. Absolutely. Especially with kids. They always know, even if on a
subconscious level, that you are bullshitting. And once they dismiss
you as untrustworthy, not a person of your word, you will have a
much more difficult time keeping the whole situation safe. If you
say you will do something, you had better come through, whether it
was in calling their parents, the police, or doing something special,
like taking them out to lunch. >2) "Be thorough." Don't skip steps. Don't call the police until you've
>taken some response yourself, even if it just means peeking out the
>window. When you're frightened, confront. You can retreat when you
>have something to be sad about. So take small steps, so that your hurt
>will be small. And when you do feel hurt, then go back quickly for
>help, don't persist yourself. America should take every single step it
>can, exercise every single option available, involve every possible
>party. Never strike first. Let the sadist have a game to play. I guess I understand this to be make sure you deal with a student in
the class first, before you call the principal or whatever. This
shows that you care. But there were certainly times when it was
imperative to call the police immediately, such as when someone was
running across the street with a gun to shoot at you and the students
on the Boulevard. Not sure if that fits with your experience? >3) "Be vulnerable." A gang can never take you seriously if you need the
> force of the police, or a large group, to engage them. Go so that
>they can hurt you, and they will know that you are for real. They will
>know that they are truly responsible for everything they do to you.
>America should be lead by those who are prepared to be assassinated, and
>there should be many replacements. America should have at the head of
>its armed forces a Peacemaker Corps of nonviolent volunteers who are
>willing to risk death and injury as tripwires for its global concerns. I understand this to a certain degree. You must be willing to draw
the line somewhere and let them know you are for real. I would add -
"But don't be stupid." >4) "Let them win." You can hang with a gang on a street corner, and
>walk circles around their head, and plant seeds in their mind all day
>long. But you can't get them to leave that corner when you want them
>to. So let them win, have the last word, get their way. They will
>leave that corner five minutes after they have seen you gone. America
>should welcome anti-American governments in other countries. If those
>governments have only that to stand on, they will collapse when they can
>find nobody to fight, and make room for those with integrity. America
>should deal with all who win power. Ha ha ha ha. It is always so surprising to see this when it happens. >5) "Seek clarification when confused." Let them teach you. Hear them
>out. Listen with an open heart, take their lies at face value for their
>sake, play along to see where you may lead them. You will learn all of
>their thinking, but even better, you may also change your own mind, and
>find new truth. America should take Osama bin Laden at face value.
>Isn't he mad that America's troops are in Saudi Arabia and Israel?
>America's government should take up the questions, why are its troops
>there? Why is Saudi Arabia a monarchy? Why is Israel an ally? The
>best way to find Osama bin Laden is to ask for his opinion. The best
>way to have a sound foreign policy is to keep it open to question. The
>best way to have friends with integrity is to teach them to question
>themselves. Absolutely. This goes with being vulnerable and putting yourself in
their shoes. >6) "Stick to your principles." What would you lay down your life for?
>What is it going to come down to, when they talk of killing you? What
>is the road on which they may walk with you to the end? At that point,
>if they're standing on that corner to sell drugs, let them be. But if
>they're going to intimidate an old lady, so she can't even walk down the
>street, then I'm ready for the end. I know my principles, so they can
>know them, too. And they will give me way. America should know the
>price of Chicago. What values are worth more than a weapon of mass
>destruction can imperil? Is it freedom from fear? Is it knowing that
>we don't strike the first blow? Or the second blow? Is it showing good
>will? While this certainly is true, it seemed to be the most difficult to
achieve in the school I worked at. Staff was constantly turning
over, so the values of the staff that first set things in motion were
not there at the end. Not everyone that came through the school
shared the same principles, or had the same experience. It required
a very present and strong leadership to maintain this, and even
still, staff that were afraid and out to save just their own hide or
whatever, could make things more difficult than they needed to be. >[snip] But now I hear from the President that it is most important for America
>to enforce its values around the world, which of course, means that it
>is less important to worry what those values are. In other words,
>others should worry about their values in a way that America need not.
>This is the ugliness of the British Empire, or the Roman Empire, or any
>empire, where insiders practice on themselves very different values than
>they do on others. This probably has to be the single-most egregious error of the US.
If they want the world to have more democracy and open markets, they
need to make sure they support governments that practice this on
their people and act that way toward other countries. Leadership
needs to always practice its values and principles better than anyone
else. Otherwise people begin to look for other leaders. >I hereby share my wish for peace, and against war. I prefer an awful
>death to striking the first blow.
>
>I don't worry about the grand politics, or much about America, for I
>know that country which I keep in my heart. But I encourage us to
>channel all of our nervous energy on the small practices that leap out >from friend to foe, and span our everlasting world. >
>Thank you for inspiring my action! Thank you, Andrius! -Steve
-- Stephen Bonzak
Posted by Andrius Kulikauskas @ 09/23/2002 10:56 AM PST [link to this comment]
COMMENT #2
Very interesting stuff! Honestly, it felt like two different posts, though. "Here is what I learned in Chicago, and what America is doing wrong" and then "Jesus is the way, etc." I understand that for some, religion and morality are intertwined, but the connection was reaching. Nonetheless, a great read, thanks.
Posted by Aaron D. @ 09/23/2002 06:53 PM PST [link to this comment]
COMMENT #3
Some good thoughts, yes. And maybe a successful modus vivendi on a personal level. But I don't see it as a univeral prescription for curing violent social ills. If one feels validated by living according to the principles of some of Christ's sermons, so be it. I also think it is reasonable to suggest that on a one-to-one level, this manner of dealing with incipient conflict can be both painlessly successful and soul satisfying. But it has been both my personal experience and observation that this approach works best to defuse potentially bad situations, but is irrelevant in truly hostile circumstances. Another good piece of advice just to butt out. At any rate, when A.K. makes a move from personal experience to his perception of America's President's social, political and military agenda I am lost. I haven't a clue of what he is talking about. He seems not at all ready to give an ear to arguments he has not already decided for himself, which is contrary to the open-minded approach otherwise espoused. And his proclamation that, " ... I prefer an awful death to striking the first blow," unhappily reminds me of the reactionary Ahmurican slogan of the 1950s, "Better dead than Red." It seems that the suicide bombers of current practice also share this awful death syndrome. But what does it all mean?
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Posted by BJMe @ 09/25/2002 01:13 AM PST [link to this comment]
COMMENT #4
Hi BJ, Aaron. Thanks for your angles. I'm taking the liberty to add this letter from Alex Shapiro. Thanks, Alex! Our lab has a discussion page for "Practicing Love as Policy" http://ms.memes.net/index.php3?request=displaypage&NodeID=94 an endeavor inspired by our Investigatorius Natalie d'Arbeloff's Bike Ride to Clarity http://www.ms.lt/en/natalie/
*** Hey Andrius, Saw your post on WebWord and Peterme. It's cool to see you in this particular weblog neighborhood. Anyway, I like your post, and deeply agree almost all of it. However, I just want to make the point that non-violence is not always the answer. You are right that most situation can be diffused by talking, and should be. However, when you have people blowing up the world trade center, I feel that it would be foolish to keep advocating conversation *only*. The policy that I would take here, is to first take the gun away from the lunatic, and to then try to reason with him and counsel him into sanity. Iraq was foolish not to allow the inspectors in. What it could have done was to agree that they do in fact have the weapons, and that they have a right to keep them. As the case stands now, one can not be certain what Iraq will do. You could say that it would be crazy for Iraq to have chemical weapons, because of the overwhelming response that would be triggered should it ever try to use them. Yet if so, then why would they not be willing to be searched? If having these weapons is crazy, then as far as our current knowledge, Iraq is crazy. ... Just wanted to voice my slightly opposing view by way of expressing my joy at seeing your name in "print". I think that the revolution in personal and collaborative thinking will be largely fueled by weblogs, and I am glad to see that you are also interested in this field. Best wishes, --Alex Shapiro
Posted by Andrius Kulikauskas @ 09/25/2002 09:45 PM PST [link to this comment]
COMMENT #5
Hi BJ, Aaron. Thanks for your angles. I'm taking the liberty to add this letter from Alex Shapiro. Thanks, Alex! Our lab has a discussion page for "Practicing Love as Policy" http://ms.memes.net/index.php3?request=displaypage&NodeID=94 an endeavor inspired by our Investigatorius Natalie d'Arbeloff's Bike Ride to Clarity http://www.ms.lt/en/natalie/
*** Hey Andrius, Saw your post on WebWord and Peterme. It's cool to see you in this particular weblog neighborhood. Anyway, I like your post, and deeply agree almost all of it. However, I just want to make the point that non-violence is not always the answer. You are right that most situation can be diffused by talking, and should be. However, when you have people blowing up the world trade center, I feel that it would be foolish to keep advocating conversation *only*. The policy that I would take here, is to first take the gun away from the lunatic, and to then try to reason with him and counsel him into sanity. Iraq was foolish not to allow the inspectors in. What it could have done was to agree that they do in fact have the weapons, and that they have a right to keep them. As the case stands now, one can not be certain what Iraq will do. You could say that it would be crazy for Iraq to have chemical weapons, because of the overwhelming response that would be triggered should it ever try to use them. Yet if so, then why would they not be willing to be searched? If having these weapons is crazy, then as far as our current knowledge, Iraq is crazy. ... Just wanted to voice my slightly opposing view by way of expressing my joy at seeing your name in "print". I think that the revolution in personal and collaborative thinking will be largely fueled by weblogs, and I am glad to see that you are also interested in this field. Best wishes, --Alex Shapiro
Posted by Andrius Kulikauskas @ 09/25/2002 09:46 PM PST [link to this comment]
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